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| The Hidden Abundance of Letting Go: Clearing Physical, Mental and Emotional Space |
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When my husband and I moved into our home in southwest Minneapolis, one corner of our basement became home to a collection of about ten boxes for over a year. I can't even tell you why. I guess our motivation just dwindled throughout the long process of unpacking. Each time I walked down the stairs to do some laundry or to feed my cats, I'd see all those boxes and just think, Ugh. We really need to take care of that stuff. Finally on a rainy day in September, a year and a half after we moved in, we decided to get the task done. Two-thirds of that stuff wound up being either donated or thrown out. We certainly didn't need it now if we hadn't needed it in the past 18 months. That corner is clean and clear now. When I go downstairs, I notice and appreciate the light that pours in the window. Physically that space is clear - but also clear now is the space in my head that was continually occupied by that unresolved pile of boxes. This issue, the intense emotional connection we often have with things that we own, including our "intangible" belongings - our health, the things we believe about ourselves and others, old grudges, or unresolved pain, is an interesting and sometimes difficult one to address. All these things occupy space. At times they occupy so much space that there isn't room for anything else. Simplicity is what we long for - but it can be very difficult to let go, even though hanging on to these things is a detriment to our emotional state of mind. One reason is just how our brains process input. We have one neurological path that could be considered "the path of reason." That's the part of our brain that looks at a chair and sees an item made of wood and fabric. The other neurological path is one that is profoundly and instantaneously linked to emotion and memory. When it sees the chair, it remembers all the things -- pleasant and unpleasant -- associated with that item. So something as simple as a chair could, for its owner, be deeply symbolic of experiences like suffocating guilt, a failed relationship, grief, or a sense of being constantly overwhelmed. It's easy to see how a house or a heart filled with these triggers can become a tough place to live peacefully. Heidi DeCoux, a very good friend of mine, is a professional organizer specializing in home organization. According to Heidi, the cycle of physical and emotional chaos can be explained this way: Everyone says that the problem is the clutter. In actuality, the real problem is...the lack of space. There is nowhere to grow and no room for anything new when we don't have space. We then, instead, experience more stuffing and filling rather than positive, beneficial growth. Gail Blanke, coach and author of the book "Throw out Fifty Things," recently gave an interview that I was able to listen to. She explained that removing clutter is not so that you can live in a spotlessly clean environment (in fact, an obsession with this type of "perfection" can be its own type of emotional clutter). On the contrary, clearing clutter is so that you can make space for new ideas, possibilities, and forward movement. This is Heidi's philosophy in her work as well: "Organizing is not as much about organizing things as it is about seeing people transform." Blanke often refers to the "Rules of Disengagement" which is a kind of litmus test for letting go of the things that hinder us: * Let it go - if the thing, idea, feeling, or person weighs you down, hurts you consistently, or holds you back. * Let it go -- if the thing, idea, feeling, or person just sits there, takes up space and contributes nothing. * If you deliberate constantly, endlessly weighing the pros and cons - Should I keep it or should I let it go? - then let it go. Heidi says, "The things you feel guilty about letting go of produces an atmosphere of guilt - I don't know anyone who can grow in that." * Don't make it so hard. The things that are meant to be in our lives will not cause us such constant confusion and pain. Now is the time of year when people increase the amount they consume and accumulate. So, it then seems like the perfect time to take a breathe and ask yourself: What are the things that I should be letting go of? What are the things that are no longer helping me move forward in my life? What positive things might I make room for in my life if I just let go? To fill in space is a human tendency. Therefore, the important question becomes, "What do I want to fill it with? About the Author: Heidi DeCoux is a professional organizer & creator of The Fast-Filing Method home office filing system. To get her FREE Kit: The Fast & Easy Way to Get Organized & Stay Organized, visit ClearSimpleLiving.com. Siri Myhrom is an educator & therapeutic writing facilitator. To get a free subscription to Siri's e-Magazine, Winter Oak Weekly, visit winter-oak.com. |
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